I have to wash the clothes that he tells me to wash where he wants me to wash them. I’ve done laundry twice in 5 months, and he hides all of his quarters from me. He turned the water off and hid the hose so I had no access to water. I have to eat the food that he has in his house, I am not allowed to buy food anymore. I don’t have the right to eat what I want. He puts gas in my gas tank using a gas tank you would use if you ran out of gas.

He uses money to control, exploit, manipulate and dominate me. Because it’s not about the money. It’s never been about the money. If it was actually about the money he would do what costs the least amount. He doesn’t. 

I haven’t bought myself a single thing in 2 years because I’m not allowed. I haven’t bought makeup or done anything related to self care, I have not done a single thing that I used to enjoy doing. My dog’s health and my health are in the toilet, I don’t know how much longer either of them are going to live but if I had to guess – not too long. They are both 12.5 years old and a year ago were in perfect health, looked and acted years younger than they were, and now one has cancer and the other looks like she has mange from a flea infestation that has gone on for over a year, no matter what I’ve done to get rid of it, and because he went behind my back and gave her an oral flea pill when I told him not to, and not only that – he is well are of the warnings that come with those kinds of medications and that she was at high risk of a neurological event – which is exactly what happened. I don’t know if she will recover. We had discussed oral flea medication in the past and both agreed it wasn’t something we would ever give them because I don’t want to give my dogs something that is so poisonous that it kills the shit living on the outside of their body by ingesting it. There’s no fucking way that’s safe and I don’t give a fuck if the FDA says so or not. Like the FDA is trustworthy. I don’t fucking think so. Why? Money. 

The gaslighting has reached such an insane level that, when I was constantly saying she was scratching and chewing, often until she cried, sending him videos of it and he would say he “didn’t hear it”, he said that it didn’t happen when she was with him, that none of them scratched or chewed when they were with him, sending him videos of fleas on my leg, on his bed, on the dogs when I bathed them, but he continued to say they weren’t fleas, then he tried to say it was because Brooklyn was allergic to chicken. ALLERGIC TO CHICKEN. Basically anything other than what it actually was, just to try to make me think I was crazy. Now that I’m saying she has stopped scratching – because she has – he is sending me videos of her scratching, that she DOES scratch. 

But I thought she didn’t scratch when she was with you? Now she does? Because it suits the narrative of whatever bullshit story you’re spewing out of your filthy mouth?

Because he slipped and told me he gave her an oral flea medication and when my brain exploded after connecting the pill to her neurological symptoms – which he blamed on her falling off the bed even though I told him her symptoms started before she had been on the bed – and have you cleaned her ears recently? Because her neurological symptoms – not knowing where she is, walking in circles, looking blind, are from her ears being dirty. Are there also magical particles in her ear dirt that has made her stop scratching? 

He has literally taken everything from me. He is terrorizing me. He will not help me with any of the things I need help with so that I can have my own money. He not only won’t help me, he sabotages everything I’ve done to make my own money, including taking my store apart behind my back days after I had filed an emergency stay when I was still very much fighting an illegal eviction.   

He submitted fraudulent timesheets for YEARS in your name to NY Life saying that you worked 4 hours a day, 7 days a week taking care of his mother (you didn’t) and even with proof he laughs it off and tells you you’re crazy, then refuses to give you a dime, wants you to go through another eviction, and tells you to go work at Walmart. I’m only “allowed” to eat food from his house. He tells me how much I should hydrate, if I’m drinking too much. He has taken everything from me.

I believe that my life is at risk. I need to leave him. He is making sure I am evicted so I am forced to live on his property or out of my car. He is a millionaire – although he will insist he has no money in the same breath he says he’s been doing what he’s doing for 28 years – which would mean he sucks at it – and has left me to literally starve. 

The saddest part is that he is a brilliant man and he wastes what is a deeply intelligent, would-be-beautiful mind on evil. His mind is what attracted me to him, and it is also what has destroyed me. 

He almost killed my dog. I don’t know if the damage he caused is permanent.  

I do not think of myself as a victim. I am a fighter. But I have been ignored, dismissed, and treated like I don’t exist. I am not asking for pity. I am asking for someone to see how wrong this all is and help me fight for my life. All I want is to be able to support myself, and I am being held hostage by someone who wants to see me suffer, and will do anything to prevent me from leaving him.