Meraki Saved my Life

Meraki saved my life. My living situation was killing me. It wasn't just a store to me. It was my home. It was the first time that I finally had the one thing I have spent my life fighting for — independence. I did not have to deal with an abusive man disguising control as love. I went home to my apartment and it was mine. My sanctuary. Paid for by me. Everything in it was paid for by me. Everything in my store was paid for by me. It was mine, and no one could threaten me with it, use it against me, throw it in my face, or take it from me. I didn’t have to live someone else’s life just to have a roof over my fucking head. Gone were the days of checking myself into a hospital at the end of a relationship because I was so fucked up I couldn’t take care of myself, I couldn’t hold down a job or keep a roof over my head. I wouldn’t ever have to run away again. I could finally put down roots and build something for myself. I finally had things that I have never had in my entire life: safety and stability. Provided by me. And I have tried so hard throughout my life to have those things. I didn’t even have a chance to truly get my business off the ground. I was faced with one hardship after another, and on top of the emotional fallout of each hardship, it has cost me an ungodly amount of money. I took out loans and ran up credit card debt that I otherwise would never have had to do.

All I have ever wanted in my life was to be able to take care of myself and be independent. To most people those things probably don’t seem special, and plenty of people are happy having a spouse or partner foot the bill. I have never been that person. (No judgement at all if that’s your thing.) The thing is, when someone gives you money, you give them power and control. You are at their mercy. For that matter, any time anyone has anything that you want or need they have the ability to control you, manipulate you, exploit you and anything else they choose to do.